With my internship behind me, I had finished my final paper of my internship. I thought you all may want to read my paper. I know its long but I am a graduate of sociology and I like to write. Enjoy.
Coming into this program, all I could think about was what was I getting myself into. I nearly had a nervous breakdown when I turned into the retreat center and I found myself driving through a farm to get to the retreat center. This was the first time in a long time that I had no control over what was going to happen. I had no idea what I was going to be doing, who I was going to be living with, and I had no idea what possessed me to apply to servant summer. I never imagined that I be chosen for the program and I really just wanted to say I tried to do something new but it was not God’s will. Apparently it was God’s will that I be accepted into the program and I would have to surrender my life over to individuals who I have never met. Part of being a seminarian is being able to trust that God is in control and this was my first experience with put my full faith into God’s hand. I was very surprised that at the end of my eight weeks that I would really miss going into the office, sitting in the Atlanta traffic, and staying with Les and his son Mark.
I learned many things from working with LSG but more importantly what LSG has taught me was that this world is not always fair and not one person can change it. It takes a special group of people working very hard to make a difference and LSG does just that. I came into this summer with the idea and hope of changing the world but what I learned was that to make a difference, we all need to work together. The following are just some of the things that I realized from working with LSG.
What is “Good” and what is “Bad?”
One day during the usual lunch discussion a lady made a comment about a recent article in the paper about a Georgia Tech student who died from Heroin overdose. She thought it was wrong that the paper published that he was a good kid because good kids do not do drugs. Now I thought she was wrong but I had only been at this office for a little over a week so I kept my mouth shut. Elizabeth turned to me and said I’m too quiet and to chime in. I told her I did not think there was any good left in the world and I really believe that to be true when we think just because somebody uses drugs automatically makes them a bad person. We live in a time period where we can do almost anything. We can transplant organs from human to another (from one species to another even) and yet we use violence to settle difference, we lock up society’s worst offenders and do nothing to try to change their behaviors. Studies have shown that if communities and governments invest in community development programs, crime will fall while good behaviors, social advancement, and overall a better environment for people will increase. We rather invest in weapons that kill and destroy and less in trying to make lasting changes in the lives of people, in the lives of our neighbors.
“Those arms were meant for you.”
I was at Target one night buying a card for my dad for Father’s day and I decided to check out the DVD department. They had a DVD titled the “Ultimate Gift.” I had seen the beginning once before and had always wanted to see the ending. One scene has been on my mind. Jason, who was searching for his gift left by his grandfather (which is really a life lesson) and Emily (a young girl who is dying from leukemia) are sitting in the chapel of the hospital. Emily is crying because she knows she is very sick and Jason said “I don’t know a lot about Religion or Jesus” and pointing to the statue of Jesus he said “but I know those arms were meant for holding you.” I’ve been going back and forth with living down here and always thinking about the loneliness of not knowing anyone down here when I am missing the big picture and the job God is calling me to do. The loneliness that these kids who are living in foster care is unimaginable. I know what it feels to be loved because I have been loved and I miss having love ones around me because I know what it means to have love ones around me. These kids do not. Many of them have not seen their families in years and have parents that want nothing to do with them. They have been placed in foster home after foster home and never really feel a sense of love and family. I know what I miss but these kids never have felt it.
Standing up for what is right is more important than anything else.
Everything we do in life reflects how individuals and society views us. Martin Luther put it right when he said "You are not only responsible for what you say, but also for what you do not say." To not stand up in any job for what is right is the same as committing the wrong. I enjoy working for a church agency because I am working to better society. I know its a little "clichesish" but I'm going to say it anyway; "Our kids are our future." Working in adoption these past eight weeks, I have seen and heard stories of how children were pulled from homes because they were abused physically and mentally. I have heard stories of 13 and 14 year olds who have gave up their newborns because they cannot provide adequate parenting to the child. This could all be very different if we, as a country, all work harder in educating and providing better programs to children and adults alike. If we did this adoption or foster care would be a thing of the past. We would not spend billions of dollars a year in court cost, child care cost for foster kids, or anything involving adoption if we would as a society, if we as a Christian Church, invest in programs that better individuals rather than investing in bombs and bullets that kill and destroy families. I would love to see the day when Adoption and Foster Care are things of the past. I want to see the day when we all turn to our neighbors, our enemies, the bad guys and say "lets work this out over coffee."
The great wonder and mystery of Faith and Grace.
The single most important church doctrine in the Lutheran Church is Justification by Faith through Grace. I had to memorize that title in confirmation as many Lutherans had to. But what exactly is faith and what exactly is grace? How can I have faith? Well it's by God's grace. Well what is God's grace? It comes from your faith. Faith comes from God's grace but one must have faith to receive grace. Now you know why I do not understand Faith and Grace. The beauty of theology is that its okay to admit that we don't know. Science demands hard facts to back up findings and the truth but theology and religion facts and proof solely rest with God. To say we don't know shows the world the great awe and power of God. God is God. If we could understand God we would not need God.
There is the passage from Matthew where Jesus proclaims that if we only have faith the size of a mustard seed, we could move mountains. I have never been able to say to a mountain move and that mountain actually moved but I do believe those mountains Jesus is referring to is not the physical mountains in the land but the mountains we create in our society and in our lives. While I enjoy working in social justice and social change agencies, these same agencies are faced with life altering decisions to make everyday. I have come to realize that this world really does need God to make the hard decisions for us. Good people lose their jobs because of corporate take overs, young men and women die everyday because of drug related crimes, parents have to bury their children because of cancer or other incurable diseases are just some of the problems we deal with every single day. Why one child lives while another dies is a mystery but its a mystery that we do not have to know about or will ever have to make those choices. God makes the hard choices and God also comforts us.
Doing what God is calling us to do is different from what society is calling us to do.
One night I was watching TV and came across a show called Hopkins. It profiles doctors at John Hopkin's Hospital in Baltimore (Of course I could not turn down an opportunity to watch a TV show involving Baltimore). One of the doctors who was being profiled was going through a rough patch in his marriage. He was having to work 80 hours a week for his residency while his wife mostly took care of their three children. She asked him to move out while they sort everything out. He said "a good doctor will always put his patients first." By this very definition his family would have to come second. This man, who is a very good doctor, was willing to risk losing his family and the love of his life so that he may save the life of a patient. I do not know if I should give him a metal or slap him. The road that Jesus is calling us to walk on is not well paved but it is full of pot holes and individuals who are set on robbing us. God has called him into medicine to save lives and he needs to do just that but God also gave him the responsibility of being a father to his kids and a husband to his wife.
Disability vs. Ability
Extreme Makeover recently featured the Hughes family and rebuilt their house to accommodate the needs of their son Patrick Henry Hughes. Patrick Henry was born with no eyes and a number of birth defects have left him with the inability to stretch his limbs out 180 degrees. Patrick Henry is bound to his wheelchair and relies on his parents for assistance. The house he was living in was not handicapped accessible. He had to, at times, craw on the floor while he dragged his wheelchair up different ramps throughout the house. The situation that he was living in was not livable but he really was not complaining. While he wanted a new house he was very happy with the hand God had dealt him. He told Tye Pennington that he does not see his blindness as a disability but rather an ability. People that can see judge on the outside before they judge on the inside. While Patrick’s eyes may not work, his mind does and he is a highly gifted musician. He plays pieces simply by ear and is even in the University of Louisville’s marching band. His father pushes him in formation while Patrick Henry plays the trumpet. Along with the trumpet, Patrick Henry is a brilliant pianist and vocalist. He has inspired the entire city of Louisville, Kentucky with his music and his outlook on life. What I could not get over was how happy Patrick Henry was even before Extreme Makeover came into his life. He was very content with living in his parent’s house and living the life God gave him to the fullest. Many of the children that LSG helps place have developmental and physical disabilities and many of the caseworkers and myself really wonder if these kids will ever be able to live a normal life. Patrick Henry has against all odds become a successful musician who is in college working very hard to make a difference in the world and if he can then I believe anyone can.
This experience at Lutheran Services of Georgia has impacted my faith in many ways. Faith is a very strange entity. Our faith is never the same from day to day and to have good faith also means to have bad faith. Having faith is probably best described by George Ritzer who is a sociologist from the University of Maryland and is an expert in the theory on McDonaldization. Ritzer describes McDonalization as “irrational rationality” which means its crazy to believe in something that seems so wrong but at the same time is a great benefit to us. McDonaldization is simply taking a very complex and expensive process and determining the fastest and cheapest way to complete the process. While McDonalization saves us money it also cost countless individuals their jobs and their individuality. Ritzer uses “irrational rationality” as a negative term but we as Christians can use this as a positive term apply this to our faith as “irrational rationality” because even though it may seem crazy to believe in a God that we cannot physically see we still believe. Part of my internship was spent learning about how the system of adoption works. I would go to a number of staffing meetings with different LSG caseworkers. I heard countless stories of Meth-addicted mothers and fathers who would leave their young children alone with strangers as they go and try to find their next hit. I heard stories of children hiding with their parents as they ran from the police. Not only are their minds forever distorted about right and wrong, but these children who are so young are having to function as adults. These children are having to supply their everyday needs that should be supplied by their parents. They are having to be parents for their younger siblings because their parents are in a back room shooting up. It is impossible to sit there and listen about these children and wonder where God is in the midst of these children. But at the same time while I wondered where God is, God is right there in midst of all the heartache and confusion these children were facing. While I heard so many stories of the horrors many of these children faced at the same time I heard of foster parents who would take these children in and for the first time in these young children’s lives would feel love. I heard of adoptive parents who already had two children and want to adopt because they want to make a difference in these children’s lives. While what these parents are doing may seem irrational, it is also the rational thing to do. We all as a society, as Christians, have so much to give and sometimes some of us have an extra bed, extra room in our hearts for another child who needs to feel love. Just as adoption is “irrational rationality” so to is our faith. It is crazy to believe but at the same time is is crazy not to believe in a God that loves us so much.
Extreme Makeover showed its 100th episode about halfway through my internship this summer. One of the builders was giving a motivational talk and said, "We are not heros but we are angels." We do not always have to be heros to make a difference. We cannot save the world and the world does not need to be saved. The world has a Saviour and has been saved through the blood of Christ. Rather this world needs angels, those bearing the Word of God and Christ himself, in order that others may see and know God. The work of the church is not just a one ministry organization accomplished by ordained pastors. On the contrary, the church is full of of ministries and missions all determined on bringing the world the Light of Christ. If I was to find out tomorrow that seminary was no longer an option, I would not be upset because I know that I would continue to serve God through living out the Gospel through my day to day interactions with others. That is the only thing God is calling us to do; live out the Gospel everyday, to sin boldly but have a even stronger faith in Christ, and to know that God will never abandon us in anything we do.
